Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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