Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
