In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
