Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize