i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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