I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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