Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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