He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
