i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
