oh god the rape fog is back!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize