I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
