Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
