I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
