he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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