party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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