Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize