How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
