would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
