I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
