I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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