Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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