he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
