god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
