I just pynch a tree in the face
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
