I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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