ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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