I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
