Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
