Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
