I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You just made me feel so damn special
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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