peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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