That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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