How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
