You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize