john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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