at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Randomize
