just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
These tits shall not be calmed
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
