Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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