hotel room ftw
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
