I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
