Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
