hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
