So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
