I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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