Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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