so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
