ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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