i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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