So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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