I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Buhtt sex?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
