the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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