It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
