when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
