found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
