Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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