covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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