Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
