I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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