We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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