thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
areolas are like halos for boobs.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
