sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
