I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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