Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize