barbara walters just said penis...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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