Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
