He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
