Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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