The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
