Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
