I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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