I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
