we're blogging at a bar
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
