hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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