I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
